Time to update.

Didn't update for so long because I don't have anything that I can think of to type. Seriously, school start liao and everything is beginning (ending) soon. Council election is coming up, NCC ; passing out in 2weeks time. Can't forget all the memories that our uniform holds. The perpiration and the blood we shed, it is all hold in our uniform. Don't even know if we will still be able to see each other next time in uniform, giving commands and all. Good luck to the 9th Batch of Specialists. Hope you all will do a better job than all the other batches and bring Montfort Warriors to the top again.

Heard some bad things about some of our councillors. I seriously don't know where to put my face and how would people judge Montfort Student Council the next time. It is really sad to see all these happen, even before the Sec4s officially step down. I wonder how it will be like when we (30th Student Council) leave. What I see from the standard now is, it is dropping but I hope after the new president is elected, he will restored the council to the original position it should be.

Sunday, Comfirmation. Finally, getting it. No more cath class!!! Was waiting for it for like 3 1/2years?? Around there bah. Cath class also holds memories, if without the class, i wounldn't have know all my friends and wouldn't have mixed around with the people in church. Congratulations to all the Comfirmants!!

Already got the timetable for my N & O Levels exam. The upcoming is N Level English Oral then followed by O Level Chinese Oral. I really want to do well for them but for my speaking part, i'm seriously very weak. Haix...But I will still try my best to chiong for as high marks as possible.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day, NCC Day 'Parade' in the morning, training after school. Really very sick of it, can't wait to pass out, frankly speaking.

Write till here bah, will try to update more regularly. Take care everyone and God Bless!!

I think that I did nothing much during my holidays lor. Keep playing and playing only, but I still manage to do a bit of my work. :)


Went for training in the morning, as usual, but today no teachers so we only did a bit of footdrills and 'air' rifle drills. Got a bit of change in the timing again but should be able to get it right de, we are all pro people right.HAHAHA.


Today was quite a fun day, did a lot of crazy stuffs which normally I won't do de. HAHA. Only people involve will understand this. And please do not come and ask me what I mean. HAHA. Funny sia, my whole of this week was a joke man. A DAMN BIG JOKE LAH. I think this is my best week out of the whole holidays lor.


I want to go play pool and go kbox leh. I'm inviting people to go now, for kbox. Next sunday, between 11am and 2pm. Hougang Plaza KBOX. Come and let me know if you want to come. Everyone (STAC people) are invited. HAHA.


joke of the year.

Memories.

I hate it when people use their ranks against me. "No matter what rank you are now, i'm still your senior." So, who gives a fuck about you. You want to be my senior, go ahead but please don't come and disrrupt the things i'm doing. You think senior big fuck? Have you thought to yourself, why were you so badly hated in school? And you call yourself a Ex-Co member, throw face only. Don't need to give excuses that all disiplinarians (don't know the spelling) are like, what about Mr Loh, is he very badly hated. No what, he also does his job as a DM. Just don't fucking come and disturb me again, I won't show any face next time. Yes, you are a senior and what is your rank? Nothing. But i'm the Student Advisor of Montfort Student Council and not you. Fuck off.



Damn fucking pissed off now. Why isn't this a two way thing? You can do it to others, why not others to you? Selfish would be the word. You say that lifes not fair to you but did you think others? Is life fair to them? It is you, you and always you isn't it? Life is more than just about wallowing in self pity. its about learning to embrace the beauty. If i could wish a wish for you, i would have wished for content. Is that what you lack? I have nothing more to say but I hope you will think about it yourself and reflect upon your words and actions. Haix...



From hopeful to hopeless

Here to post. Seriously, I think this post, is just posting for the sake of posting.


It has been a boring week. Training daily, slacking at home. Everyday is the same routine, wake up, training, slack. Thats all. I don't know what even to do next at home, other then watching television and playing the computer, I do nothing. Parade has been push to 14th July 2007 at around 5.15pm. If anybody intersted to come, please let me know. Thanks


I'm just crapping now lah. Went to watch movie with Leonard on thursday evening. Sherk 3, quite a nice show. The jokes are not in the whole story but in the same same details during the show. It was really funny, everybody was laughing so loudly. Then went home, went online as usually until about 1am+ waiting then went to sleep.


Tonight also, i don't still want to play game a not? It is already 0030, morning liao and tomorrow have to wake up early to go for training again. Super sian, but next week and no more cath class. Comfirmation!! Wohoo!!! Shiok man, can go for breakfast liao. Don't need to rush for anything.

Will blog again when i think of news things. LOL.

If I climb the highest just to call your name
Would you ever, let me down?

Just got back my piano theory results. Wohoo!! I got distinction. Haha. 90/100, just nice got distinction, but still very happy. Haha. My second theory exam and I improved from the last one. I can't really remember what I got lah, but I know is lousier than my current results. Actually I didn't expect a distinction because I know that during the exam, I made a lot of mistakes. I thought I would only get a merit but now my results suprised me. Haha.

I'm back to mapling. LOL. Don't know what game to play le leh. All games play until sian liao. Like before maple, I was playing Gunbound then before that I was playing 9dragon. I gave up on Audition quite sometime ago. Haha. All the games I play, my levels are average de. Gunbound : Stone Axe. 9dragon : Revloving Chakra 2 . Audition : Lvl 8. Maplestory : Lvl 41. I'm always the lousiest among friends lor. Even people who started later then me also higher lvl then me. Haix. Maybe i'm not made for gaming after all.

Had training just now, but not really training lah. Went to HQ with Mr Ho and Mr Chia to do kit exchange so skipped almost 2hours of training. Haha. I know i'm slack lah but if you everyday go back to school and do the same thing over and over again, will you get sian of it? I'm sure you will right, so I find got any chance only must skip liao. LOL.

Maybe we didn't have a strong bond between us. We suffered for almost 4years together and what we get in the end? We always call ourselves brothers but do you all act like you are brothers to each other? Making fun of people, I have nothing against it but don't you all think it is too far?? Yes, he maybe irritating but is this how you treat your brother? I talked about this before, i'm not very happy about training but I just want to pass-out as nicely as possible. Thats why I am enduring all these crap now. You think I am happy inside when I do all the marching and drills. If you think that all these are simple things, you are wrong. You must go through it for yourself then you will know. Unlike people who only know how to stand there and give comments. I can comfirm, if you join in the contingent, it will also result to the same thing as what is happening. I'm damn not happy now, really lah. How to pass-out happily?? Haix.

Been sleeping damn late (or early) these few nights. 3am leh, it has been so long since I slept at this time. Haha. Don't know is it good or not good. LOL. Have to wait mah, so just play games to keep myself awake. Haha. Bejeweled, Minesweeper Flag etc... Must play games that need to use brain and think de or game swhich need you to have fast reaction if not still will fall asleep de. Actually now i'm feeling a bit tired liao. Should I go to sleep?? Haha.

To find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune ;
to keep him/her is a blessing.

Had dinner with my parents just now. Went to eat japanese food, so full sia and so sinful. Eat so much, but maybe because i adt rice lah. Haha. Went to the 99cents per plate that place, it is near Tampanise Stadium. The service there was lousy, so slow and the people there all look so blur, like don't know what they are suppose to do like that. LOL. But overall, the food was not bad and the ambience (or how you spell it) is quite nice. May ask people go there to eat again. Haha. Who is interested??



Just finish doing my write up for the magazine. Thanks The Old for the help in editing. Haha. My english a bit cannot make it de, so need people to help me. This one easy because don't need to talk infront of people but the speech, don't know how to do it sia, got stage fright. The speech also haven't write yet. Find one day must sit down and think of what to say infront of the whole school.



Yesterday's concert was very good. I don't know about what tone tone thing lah but they sound very good to me. Tired lah, of course I will doze off inside the auditorium mah. LOL. But I was awake for the clapping part mah. After the concert, isa, amanda and I was like sitting at a nearby chair wanting to sleep there for the night. We were all so tired can, just give us a blanket and we will make ourselves comfortable. On the way back, while on the bus, I took out my phone to let leo hear the songs from Advent 2006 then we started singing also. Haha. First was O God You Search Me, then When You Believe and last was Ave Verum. We only sang when there was nobody on the bus lah, so people will not think that we are crazy. Then when we were reaching out destination, got alot of _____ on the bus sia. Don't know why. Haha.



When we reach, leo and I left to eat and the rest went home. While eating, we were talking about alot of things lah, choir and non-choir stuff. Talk at the KPT until about 1pm can, then walk with him until his house. There are alot of things that we talk about lah, but I can't say it here because some are quite confidential stuff. Reach home about 1am, I still on my computer and sit infront of it. Haha. With nobody online. I was watching television but fell asleep at around 2am+. Woke up to off it at around 3am.

Woke up at 8am in the morning. Have to go for training, so no choice. Training was ok lah, did everything quite well.

Write till here bah. Sian liao. Will blog again soon. Byebye.

Think of me

Hello everyone, i'm back from camp.

Didn't blog yesterday, because I couldn't wake up. Set my alarm clock at 2145hrs but couldn't hear it ring so nver wake up. Haha.

Comfirmation camp was quite a fulfilling retreat for me. Because I think I have not ever attending sure spiritual camps before so this is a break through for me. During the whole camp, I got closer to people who I always only say 'Hi' when i see them. When we got into to CSC on thursday, we were split into groups. As usual, you will hear and see people asking "Which group are you in?" , "Teacher, can change group a not?". My group was with Gabriel, one of the twins. I didn't really know him well but during the camp, the time spend we spend together, i got to know him better. Had a lot of sessions, at the start, I find them very boring. Seriously, I was like stoning and not listening. After that had lunch, quite ok lah the food. Had 2servings sia, pei Johnathan eat. Haha. Had the treasure hunt, the adults can really hide things. Hide until we cannot find. LOL. Mass after that, normal things lah. Then dinner and Holy Hour. During the Holy Hour, I got to confess, I was sleeping through. Because all lights were out then we were suppose to pray on our own which I can bet i'm not the only one sleeping. Haha. Went to sleep after that, wanted to stay up lah but could not do it. LOL. Next morning, woke up at 0430, Fr JJ wanted to bring us to see how beautiful or something like that lah, what God has created and we sat in punggol park in the wees hours of the morning, praying. Again lah, I was sleeping. LOL. When back for breakfast and slack in our rooms for like 1.5hours. Went back to sleep, really tired. After that was a session by Fr Fred and his team. The mine that was acted out, really touched me a lot. How teenagers like us let go of God and after all the fun and we are suffering, God still open the door and welcome us back. This touches me a lot. Then had the prayer session, I be frank. I cried when i kneel infront of the cross and when Fr Fred hugged me. This was the first time I felt something which I cannot explain. God really was with me when Fr Fred lay his hands on me, i really can feel it. Even after confession, I started to pray, I started to cry again. Everytime I think of the moment I had infront of the cross, tears will start rolling down. Had a sharing session after that, I think I was the only one who volunteed myself to share, the rest was arrowed. Haha. Break camp after that, went home bathe le, online awhile then sleep liao. Too tired. Until this morning go training.

Training today, was better then last week. Althought we had a longer training but I find that all our drills had improve. Slow march was good, stationary drills where sharp. I want to comment about Sir Tong. I find that he is really someone who teaches well. I really like the way he teach and I can understand. Next time, I want to be like him. Strict but people still respect him. I want to go for CLT course next year, after my 'O's but it is still a long way more lah. Come back and help the unit in the correct way, rather than how we are treated now. Today was quite ok lah, not many useless sirs came. So we did everything rather smoothly.

Write till here lah, very sian already. Going off to sleep, maybe. Haha. Still got choir practice later at 2000. Blog again. Byebye.

Just put me at the back of your mind. I am satisfied as long as i'm in you mind.

Forgotten to add in something in my last post. Towards the end of council camp, during the campfire, I was talking to Justin. And I really appriciate what he say about me. He told me that, to him, I always seem so arrogant, so 'dao' but after this camp, he says he see me diffrently now. I'm very happy that people can see i'm not always the fierce or 'dao' Bryan. Yes, at times I am like that but I do all these for reasons. If i'm not fierce, people say that i'm slacking, not doing my work. Then if i'm serious, people say that i'm too strict and cannot work with me. So i'm really happy that Justen could see this. Thanks!!

Didn't really do much things lately, I have just been doing the minmum of what I am requied of and I think that all these is enough. Because some people don't appreciate things that you do so what is the point of doing it so nicely for them. I am talking rubbish here, don't know what am I typing also. LOL.

Just sorted out some feelings. Thanks for the help. I really needed someone who can advise me and tell me what are the things around me which I can't see. Really thank this person for helping me. These is what the person told me, " Let it rest and keep the happy memories. " I'm sure the person is right and i'm going to follow this. Forgetting about someone or something is not easy and all so all these takes time. But the time needed depends on the person, wheather you are willing to let go of it or still holding on, thinking that there is hope. Which usually I doubt. NOw I have cleared my feelings, I hope that people around me who are going through this emotional period too, clear their feelings too. It is not good to keep on dwelling on something which aren't very nice to you. Life is short, you don't know what will happen to you tomorrow, so take a step at a time.

One day at a time, Sweet Jesus.

Came back from council camp yesterday. i hope that everybody will learn something from this camp and not just take this as a joke.

My reflections for this camp. Being the camp started, the planning was not on the track. Proposals were not done properly, which i don't blame the secondary3s because they were not taught how to do a proper one. The problems I face in this camp is that, i don't see unity in the planning team. I don't see people supporting each other but what I saw is : 'I want my way, so all of you listen to me', then the other party will be 'I don't want to listen you also cannot do anything'. I think this is the main problem of the camp. I told the secondary3s last night and i'm going to say it here, if the top breaks, the rest below it will follow suit. So, try your best to put up a good show and set good examples for the juniors to follow. As the OIC of this camp, I feel that I have not lead my team of people well. Being the OIC was not easy for me. I have my training and the council camp to balance. I can plan for somethings but I will not be able to be there to see how is it run, what is the mistakes etc... This comes down to commitment, I have to balance NCC and council together. Which in both, i can say to be holding quite high positions. For this camp, i dare not say that i contribute a lot and so I want to thank the people who helped me through the whole camp. Old boys who came back despite their hectic schedules, current executive committee, people who are having their major examinations this year, my team of planners and of cause, the teachers. I want to say a big thank you for helping me in anyway or another.

NCC training was not and have not been as fun as before. I don't understand why. What i see is that, there are too many old boys coming back. I don't have anything against them but they are taking over us too much. For some of you, you all may not feel it but me as a SSG, a platoon staff, I feel it. I want to try my best to help and I know the old boys too but don't you all think that you (old boys) are running too much of our (specialists) show. I want to do my own training planning, i want a say in my platoons upcoming positions, i want to bond and do my job as a platoon staff with my platoon but are you all giving me the chance. I still can get people telling me, : "If you cannot do your job, pass it to someone else to do." I'm very pissed off with this sentence, what do you want me to do if I do not have my chance to perform. If you all think that I am not up to the job and I cannot perform as how you all want me to then why in the first place you all give me this responsibility, this rank?? I'm really very sick and tired of training, yesterday, 6hours in the parade square, treated like dogs. Does SAF pay you all officers to come back and treat us like dogs?? SAF pay you all not to come back and treat us like dogs and anyway, you all are also not paid to come back here to train us. Yes, I don't mind you all helping because I know that our batch did not really do a very good job but seriously don't you all think that you all are too much?? People nowadays train with their brains and not with sheer strength and stupidity. If we think that the things we do are right, of cause we will follow and do it but if we think it is not and rebel, don't you all think that you all are at fault too?? Just because we rebel does not mean that we don't respect you all but it is because we are using our brains to think. I don't care how you all are treated last time and also how the army treats you all. Even RSM NCC himself said, : "If any of the SAF officers do anything not right to you all, please let them know that you all are from NCC and that you all are not the men under them." If even a WO tells us this, what right does the 2LT, LTA, 3rd SGT have to make us do things which aren't right under the rules of NCC. Last year, i had a talk with a senior and I told him that push ups are banned in NCC and I agree with him that if we follow, NCC will become like a playground but like what I have said above, nowadays, people work with their brains and not sheer strength and stupidity. We may not be as fit or as enthu as you all in the past but we are trying to follow the changes and not just stick to how the old ways work. It is stated in the Leaders' Creed, 'Rank is what you wear, respect is what you earn' but people are still blamed for getting 3rd SGT instead of 2nd SGT when they passout from specialists' course. Do you think this is fair for us?? If we have tried our best but the CLTs in HQ are not giving us points fairly, what can we do?? Our present CSM too passout with a 3rd SGT, does this mean he is lousy?? He still made it to be a CSM of the company so what is the problem with getting a 3rd SGT. I hope now you all know why i rather put my energy in Student Council rather than in NCC.

Wrote too much about NCC, but these are all what I feel and thought about. And one more thing, I am super burnt from yesterday's 6hours training. I will have much more to say next time so stay tune.

tired
burnt