I'm still not tuned back to school period. How ar? I keep on wanting to play and not study. The subjects and lessons now are seriously boring me out man. I can't concentrate on anything. Then this year sciences got practical somemore, another one that is headache de, have to memorise so many things. And please don't come and tell me it is easy, because different people got different brain. Easy for you does not mean it is easy for me.

People can study only afew months before 'O's or even never study at all and get good grades for the examination but I guess it is not me bah. I am not as clever as the people out there, i'm just plain stupid. Whatever I do and I really mean everything, it is always average so I can only look at how poeple talk and fight over what is right and wrong but I just stand there feeling left out, keeping quiet.

Looking at so many of my friends leaving for JC/Polytechnics, I some sort of feel quite left out. Because it is like they are always talking about all the stuffs and I son't even understand a single thing of it. By the time I enter, I guess most of them already are getting ready to leave le. It is just so much stress on me now, I really really don't know how to handle it. I think the A2 for my E Maths really hit me very hard...

In life, we have to make decisions that aren't easy. We're afraid that whatever choice we make will upset someone we love.

It is at these times that we need to stop and listen to the voice inside us. If we listen just to the wishes of those around us and ignore our own feelings, we will not be truely happy.

Listen to what you know is right and stand by that, because when you do, you will be happy.

The best way to make it through... IS TO LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.

Collocted my results today. It was really disappointing, very very disappointing. It wasn't the grade that I would expect myself to get. I just don't understand why did this happen. Did I not put enough hardwork? Did I not spent enough time in doing my revisions? Did I not put in all my efforts in completing the exam papers? DID I NOT DO ENOUGH FOR EVERYTHING? I just cannot figure out the answer. Maybe this is just what is planned for me, to retake my paper. I thought I could have at least a burden off my back but now it seems, it is not going to happen...

Yes I feeling down now, it is just during this period. Don't worry about me. I'm just think of what went wrong and what could I have done to do better. It is just another step in life that everyone must go through. So the only thing I can do now is to jolly well accept what I am faced with. Now the thing is to buck up on my other subjects which I don't know if I will be able to. I just don't have the motivation/proactiveness to do my revisions and work.

Give me some time, I hope I will feel better tomorrow. And one more thing, congratulations to all recipients of the O Levels results today. Good luck for all your further endeavors.

Stupid and useless, thats all to can say. It seems like nothing is do-able now, nothing at all. A useless person is what you see, someone who cannot do anything right. It is you who says : " You are alright " but it is the person you say to that feels the hurt.

Following the heart is a rubbish advice, cause when you do follow your heart, there are bound to be factors stopping you and factors leading you astray. The best is to be yourself, lead your own way and not let others lead you.

There is nothing more to be said now, only useless and stupid is what it is.

Hurt

While having taiji, I suddenly felt very tired and have no energy left in me. My hands starting to shiver and seems very soft. These leads to me thinking about the deaths that occurred in the past few months. So many people had left the world just like. I worried I will become the next one.

I am worried not because i'm afraid of death or maybe I am alittle, but the main thing is that, there are many things which I have not done yet. I cannot simply just go without fufilling them. Another reason is that, I don't want to leave behind my loved ones too. They are so important to me, really really important. If I really have to go, I wouldn't want to see people getting upset over my death. It is just God's will that someone has to return to Him. Nobody will know when the time it is for him to go until he leaves this world. This is a fact which nobody can change.

So from today onwards, I will try to best to live my lifes to the fullest and fullfil whatever I have aim. Be it for myself, council, choir, NCC or loved ones. I will do my best in whatever I do and not let anybody down.

Plans
2008 : 'O' Levels (L1B2R2) < 12points, Piano Practical Grade 6
2009 : Singapore Poly Admission, JPSDS, Driving licence, Girlfriend (if possible, haha)
2010 : Rome trip with STAC

This is what I have in mind for my coming 3 years, hope I can achieve them. :D

To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom and the first step to success...

This is my last few months in the council. Seeing it being run this way, really hurts me. Power is really getting into people's head. Why can't you all just have a common leader and listen to him? I don't understand why is there so many indian chiefs in the council.

We left the council to you all, although not very well-organized but it is still better than how it is now. The council is going downhill and i'm sure many of the seniors would not want this to happen, especially those whose names are in the hall. People need to learn to sumit to authority, seriously. In the council, it is not the seniority that counts but it is the one who is leading the council who has the last say. I admit that I sometimes cannot do this but I am trying my best to lead by example.

Investiture is coming soon. This one of the biggest or should I say the biggest event in the council's calander. I hope that this event will turn out well and that the new batch of executive committee will be able to lead the council to greater heights. This is what I have to say for now, if I have thought of anything, I will tell you all again.

Bryan Lim
Student Advisor

Got to get use to going back to school. I keep on feeling tired in school lor, like need sleep. Because at home I can sleep on time I want but now in school, cannot even sleep at all. Means I must sleep early in the night liao.

I like my Chinese teacher. Although he from China, his English got the angmoh slang one. Damn cool sia, but one thing is that this time cannot scold anything in English during lessons liao. Haha. And we have test every single week lah, like every Tuesday. I got 30 weeks of his lessons leh, means I got to take 30 tests. Wahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

CCA orientation is this Friday. I don't understand why must put on weekdays lor, then CCAs won't have enough time to prepare their stuff. Like for scouts, you expect them to build strutures in 2 hours? That's impossible lah. Stupid also, don't know why must change the day.

Losing myself to you.

School has already ended for the week.

I haven't really been to class yet because of the secondary 1 orientation camp. We were asked to be excuse from lessons to help out in the camp. In the end, we just slack through the whole camp taking care of only the admin stuff. It is also quite stressful to be accounting for over 300+ students, every movement in/out of the school, we will have to record down.

After seeing my timetable, feel very sian. The school push all our important lessons to the first 3 days of the week (Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday) which we end class at about 4.30pm everyday. Then for Thursday and Friday, our lessons just end at 1.30pm and 1pm respectively. I just don't know how they plan the timetable but maybe this is better for us?

On the first day, my form teacher has already told us to get ready for DSA and DPA already. Still got like so many months lah and he is telling us to get ready now. But I understand lah, he says that it takes some time to get everything done. Like the achievements and getting the documents endose by the respective teachers in-charge. I will get ready my documents for DPA but I also don't know if I will be able to use it.

I'm getting closer to my friends again, because of school bah. During the holidays, didn't get to hang out with them much so I think I have drifted apart from them. Now back to school, hearing all the stuff that happened during the holiday. I didn't know a bunch of guys can be so happening too. Haha. I think it is because of the few girls younger than us? I shan't mention anymore things. Haha.

Saving money to buy DS Lite now, don't know by when then I can but but I will still try to save. Haha.

forgotten

First post of the year, wohoo!!

Tomorrow school is starting and I haven't got anything except my uniform ready. I think I don't want to bring my bag, just myself go school can le.

Yesterday went explanade there and wanted to countdown. But when we got there, the amount of people was like hor, damn crazy lah, not even a place to stand can. Haha. Next time I know le, stay at home countdown can liao. In the end, went to my house and play bridge. The rest went home at 0230 and Jason slept at my house until the next morning.

Today the whole morning was prayers lah, until 1430 then I reach home. Manage to sleep from then till about 1830, if not I think tomorrow sure first day fall asleep de. Haha.

Hope that sis have fun and enjoy herself in taiwan. Will be waiting for you at the airport, awaiting your arrival!! Haha. Have a safe trip back :D